High Fever

Chette's forum is up and running again after the few hours outage a few days ago, and I am happy to be able to witness two people (Ranma Saki and Akane Hanaka) coming to God and receiving the Gift of Salvation. One more person seems to be coming near to the Truth too, so that is great news. Since we are wrestling and winning souls over Satan, the attacks to the forum has increased by a lot. The forum has been downed a few times these last days, so all the mods are encouraged to have a backup of the mySQL database each of their own. God has appointed 12 mods (including 2 admins, Chette and Philip as the owner) to be in the forum, and He Himself will be watching and guarding over it too. Right now, as of the 12, only 10 has been found out, and we are still waiting for the other two to be revealed. We do not know yet just who they might be.

The other attack was dealt to me yesterday. On Thursday, I ran under the rain for about 100+ metres from my campus' P Building to my car in the parking lot, trying hard not to soak my laptop, because I didn't bring my umbrella that time. And later that night I had a choir practice with the fellow tenors at church on 9 to 11 PM. Even though I used an umbrella that night, due to the strong wind, I was still getting soaked. So the combination of me getting soaked with the rain all-day, plus the tiredness of a hard day and the late night practice, has taken its toll too high for my body to handle.

On Friday morning, after I went to college on 8 AM I felt unwell, so I went home and slept from 10 AM until 2 PM. And even after 4-hours of sleep my body still feel unwell, my throat started to hurt and my body started to generate heat. And there it was, I was having a fever and until today, as I am writing this blog, I have not fully recovered and my fever is getting worse. I am afraid that if I do not recover soon I might lose the chance to take part on the Christmas Cantata, but I still have yet to ask the leader if it is okay for me to not join the recording but still take part on the final Cantata night (we have to dance too, so I can focus on that part instead). But that might be unfair, because June could not join the Cantata night due to her still infected throat (until today) and so she didn't went to practice and no recording either. June told me though, that she has not practiced since a few months ago so that is okay for her. But I practiced until the end, and got sick three days before the final recording day (set on Monday, do not know if it will be pushed back to Friday again), so due to my hard work and practice I might still earn the place to be there during the night.

On another account, God has helped me with my Final Project proposal. I have found the two lecturers to help me during the final project and both have agreed on my proposal. Now what is left is the internship project report, have to finish it before December 9th, I think I can make it on time if only I wasn't sick. I must recover quickly and make my reports done on time.

And yeah, there will be SOOOOOOO many people coming to Surabaya after December, 10th. I can't wait to meet Chees, Test, Ivan, Finna, and many others. Especially Chees, welcome back sis, and you will be my next sister, second one other than that sister Mee-a who have knocked my head with her lunch box many times.....

*runs* :p

End and Beginning

The end of the holiday period....
The beginning of a new chapter in life....

The one week holiday has finally come to an end. From today I have to go on with my daily activites again, try to finish my internship project, look for a lecturer to oversee my final project and many things. Couple that with another added activity that this week I have to train every night at 9 PM with my fellow Tenors for the Christmas Cantata recording next week. But I do not doubt that during this week I might found something new that have been placed on my course by God. Especially considering that many things are revolving and happening around my life right now.

I am grieved by the loss of Chette's Friendship and Counseling Forum. Just when it looked like finally we would be able to have two souls subjecting their lives to Jesus to be Christians, the mySQL database is suddenly missing, vanished like vapor, leaving no traces behind. I hope that we can make another one soon, because even though the forum lasted only for a few days, I can sense that God has used it mightily for His purposes. Even stronger than the Outcasts Community I have been joining almost for a year now, I must say. Well, I can't compare them because they are there for different reasons. Obviously God will use them differently too, the one being a post-modern forum and the other being traditional style Christian forum. But as everything comes to an end, there will be a new beginning. I don't believe the wrestle for souls will just end here with the fading of Chette's forum.

And for people who have known or heard about my Christmas Cantata, please pray for it, as it seems that we won't be able to make it in time for Christmas. The choir haven't mastered the songs yet, even though recording is next week (actually it was to be THIS week but it's cancelled because we're not ready), and couple that with the lack of pianists and drama players. There is no time, but I solely believe that God wouldn't give us a 1,500-people capacity ballroom in the newest and most famous mall in my city for nothing. There must be some plans behind this and I believe that He will work mightily once we surrender it all to Him. In fact, it's for His glory that we are doing all this.

Well, I'll end this and be off to sleep now... and next time I will come with a new beginning with a new post. I'll update more about the Christmas Cantata preparation progress as anything interesting comes by.

Three Steps of Compassion

Lately, after I saw so much more about the injustice in this world, I began to have a deep sadness and compassion for the people who live in this world. Some have found the salvation in Jesus, but they still live in misery, because they no longer have hope in the Lord's coming and they no longer set their eyes on what is above, they fall down during their oppression. Some others haven't even heard about Jesus at all. These facts make me more and more sad by each passing day, wishing I could do something for them. Today, I think I will share something about Compassion... the Bible tells us that compassion is not a one-step process, but in Jesus' example we can see that mostly it is a three-step process.

Bible verses to read:
- Matthews 9:36, 14:14, 15:32, 18:27, 20:34
- Mark 1:41, 6:34, 8:2
- Luke 7:13, 10:13, 15:20

So, what are the Three Steps of Compassion I mentioned?
1. His eyes saw them (or His ears hear them) - RECOGNITION
2. His heart was moved with compassion for them - COMPASSION
3. His hands stretched forth to help them - ACTION

Some people stopped on Step 1.
They saw those people in need, they saw those people being hurt and oppressed. But because they have no love for them, they can't share those people's feelings of sadness, hurt, hunger, loneliness and many others. Their heart was not moved by compassion, so they felt nothing, and did nothing in the end. These are best exemplified by the priest and the Levite in the parable of "The Good Samaritan" in Luke 10:30-35.

Some people stopped on Step 2.
They saw, and they was moved, but they did nothing. They can certainly empathize on those people and they can share their hurt, but without any actions, their emotions turned into emptiness. How many times now we have watched the media, where we saw disastrous incidents, whether natural (like earthquakes, thunderstorms, forest fire etc) or incidental (remember the killing of the children of an elementary school lately? and also the WTC 9/11 and many other incidents), yet we do nothing, NOTHING at all to ease them of their misery? Do not think too far as to give donations or something else for them. Did you even PRAY for them? I must admit that I did not, but I came to realize that even when I cannot comfort them by giving donations, or by simply being there, GOD can. He is there, He can grant them will all they need, He can comfort their feelings and He can give them new hope. When we can't do something for them why don't we put them and surrender them in the hands of our mighty Savior?

Some people jumped over Step 2.
Yes, it IS possible to see the oppressed, and do something for them WITHOUT ANY COMPASSION. I do not know about you who live in another countries, but if you're in Indonesia, then most likely you will understand this. In Indonesia, we can find beggars in almost any traffic lights. Some of the beggars are not old, disabled people, but sometimes young, strong men who simply just won't go find any work. These guys can often threaten you to give them money, and sometimes they even go far enough to scratch your car with a nail or something. So, in the end, in order to avoid any troubles and car-scratches, you give them money, most oftenly between Rp.100,- to Rp.500,- (about one to five/six cents), Rp.1.000,- are rare occassions. Did you see them? Yes. Did you do something for them? Yes. Did you have any compassion for them? No. Is it good? NO!

So the best way to go is to have all of the three steps in order and completed. Right now, I am trying to have all these three. Sometimes it is hard to just be content with praying for the Step 3. I feel like I want to do something more, something that is more practical, more real and more useful for them than JUST PRAYING. But in reality, I know that mostly I can't do anything more, and that makes me sad. Yes people, injustice will still remain in this world, as long as Christ's not coming for the second time yet. All I can do is pray, and pray, and pray. And hope that I will be given some chance, even as little as it can be, to comfort and help those people in need around me. I want to focus my life on my surroundings, because God has given many things for me, even so many that most people around me don't have. I am thinking about how to help them, and ease them, relieve them of their pain.

Yes people, it's very painful not to be able to do anything, even though you know they're suffering, even though you know they're hurt, but still, in the end, you can do..... nothing.

I want to do something for them.... even as a tool
Yes, I want to be Your tool, if it means I can help them
Even for a little, even for a minute, even for a second
I long to help them... because You have put compassion in me
You have put Your heart for the world in me....

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)

The Sword Of Faith

Maybe many of you have known about this, but for those who have not known yet, let me tell you about the sword that you can use to work up your faith and learn more about the Truth. It is called the e-Sword, something I found on the 'Net a while back ago, completely free and altogether great.

If you have a PC (which of course you must!):

• Go to http://e-sword.net/downloads.html
• Download the "application installation", but if you have installed e-Sword previously (which I guess you won't if you're reading this article) you can just take the "update patch".
• Download some Bibles. The e-Sword already come packed with a King James Version with Strong's Numbers, but those Strong's Numbers can be too much to see if you just want to read some scriptures. The Strong's Numbers will be really useful if you want to find the root meaning in the original language (whether it is Hebrew or Greek) of a word, just by hovering your mouse over the Strong's Number, the e-Sword will open up a tooltip which links to the Strong's Dictionary, complete with explanations and its original meanings. In order to avoid becoming too occupied with these numbers, I suggest you download some other Bibles, like KJV Red Letter, ASV, ESV, and whatever Bible versions you may like. Unfortunately some newer Bible versions, like the New King James Version, are unavailable. For you Indonesians out there, there IS a TB-LAI version here, just look for the "Indonesian Terjemahan Baru" version and download it. After you download it, you can just run the installer to add the Bible.
• Download some Dictionaries. I suggest downloading Nave's Dictonary and International Standard Bible Encyclopedia (ISBE). Both of them will give you topical explanations about the Bible, but the difference is that Nave gives you a list of Bible verse references which relates to the topic, while ISBE gives you a thorough and detailed explanation about the topic, just like a handbook or an encyclopedia does. This is really useful if you want to learn about some topics. For example you can just enter "salvation", and Nave will give you verses relating to that, while ISBE will teach you the details about the salvation topic. I'm trying some other dictionaries soon but they're mostly large so it will take some time to download and install them. But for the most of us, those two should be enough.
• If you're interested to learn something more, download some Commentaries. But be warned though that Commentaries are personal opinions about the Bible from Bible Scholars, and should NOT be taken all at once, everything, zip, without any considerations, rethinkings and relearnings. The best out there for me is Albert Barnes' but if you're interested feel free to also take John Gill's and Matthew Henry's (NOT the concise one!) too.
• You're set to go with what I listed above, and those things above will probably take more than 50 MB download already, but if you got the spare time and the bandwith to download more, feel free to take more from the site, but right now I'm just working with what I listed above. No need for maps, satellite photos and et-ceteras here.

For those of you rich enough or lucky enough to have a PDA/XDA/smartphones/whatever with Pocket PC 2002 or Windows Mobile 2003 installed (no PALM!):

• Go to http://e-sword.net/pocketpc/downloads.html
• Download either the Pocket PC 2002 version or the Windows Mobile 2003 version, depending on what OS you have on your device, and install it (of course you know how to use ActiveSync by now, right?)
• Because mobile devices only have a little amount of memory available, just download what you need. Maybe you won't even have the space to put a dictionary over there, but if you got some SD/MMC there, then feel free to take everything you need and wanted. For guidelines I suggest you download the same as above, but be warned though that doing searches and everything in your mobile device is very exhaustive, and it's not fast too. So maybe you'll better stick to just a bible and a dictionary for the mobile device, and let your PC/laptop do all the extensive searching and hard work. Extensive Bible Studying using the mobile device is DEFINITELY NOT RECOMMENDED, unless you want to wait long periods of time just to look for some Bible verses.

I've been using e-Sword for my bible studies for almost a year on my PC, and now since I have got my new laptop and my hp iPAQ 4150, I installed e-Sword also on those. Having e-Sword on my laptop is certainly very helpful, because at any time and any given place I can just run the software and do some bible studying in my free time, whether it's waiting for class or just waiting for the rain to end or something. I suggest you to use it, and it's not that difficult to use, even if you're not too computer literate. If you encounter some problems or would just like to ask something about it, feel free to ask me about it. As a long-time user I might just be able to help you.

Oh yeah, and by the way, it's not me who has made this software (I wish!). Thanks to Rick Meyers for this great piece of software (and it's free too! just how cool is that?). Wish I can meet him someday.

World, Injustice

As I looked into my surroundings I see the people around me, people who have been placed in the inner circles of my life. I wonder why God has placed so many people with their own problems around me. Is it for me to be thankful for my being? Or is it for me to guard them and help them, be the kind of "hero" I always wanted to be, to bring joy and happiness to all of them? What is it, then, the meaning of me for these people?

Kezia, a 17-years old girl I knew from the net. She is a kind and light-hearted person, but as I got to know her I learned that she is deaf. She cannot listen to anything at all, even more to music. She said that if she wasn't deaf she would learn to play all kinds of musical instruments and she will learn to sing. Now here's one person that I wanted so much to be blessed by the songs of my Christmas Cantata, but no matter what I try to do I know that she will not be able to hear that. Suddenly, the 1,300 people I'm going to sing in front of at the Supermal Pakuwon don't seem to matter much anymore for me. What's the use of singing in front of thousands when there's one that I wanted so much to hear me but she can't?

June, my friend's 18-years old little sister, which is also my close neighbour and childhood friend. She has faced many problems such as financial and family problems from the beginning. In the last two months things have gotten worse. She is infected with a throat disease and until now she has not been able to regain her voice back. She's now undergoing medical treatments which is very expensive, and it hurts so much for her every week after she has undergone the laser treatment. I don't know if she will be able to return in time for the Christmas Cantata, but I think it's somehow too late. No matter how much she wants to praise and sing to the Lord, she just can't.

Mee-a, my 24-years old spiritual sister. She used to be a strong woman with a very close relationship with God, and she has helped me to build my own spiritual relationship with God in many times when I was falling. Now the things that has happened to her life, somehow, has almost reached beyond her "limits line" (see 1 Corinthians 10:13 for what I mean by the "limits line"). God has promised not to let the temptations in our lives go beyond the limit line, because He promised that He will give a way out and that all of us can do all things in He that strengthens us (Phillipians 4:13). She said that when she asked God, God just answered her by stretching and opening His arms wide, showing His nail-stricken hands, while saying "Come to Me o those who is heavy laden, and I will give you rest". She knew that He has died once and for all for her problems and her sins, but considering the situation, she has begun to argue and question about it.

What about myself then? My life is not without its own share of problems. Just look at my love life, which has been kept struggling for a month, and is now dangling on a string (we still love each other but we DO know that we can't be together by the means of this world and its many conditions, man-made conditions that made them suffer by their own odd rules). Look at my internship, which only had 3 weeks left to finish it all, and I am too lazy and too troublesome to finish it. Look at my final project, where my friends have made their final proposals and booked their tutors, I have yet to find my own tutor and make my proposal, and it won't be the final one, but the first one.

"Where is the justice in all this then? Where is God's justice?", we may ask. But yesterday in a sermon, He answered it all. Yes, God is just, but He NEVER gave away nor opened His standards of justice for men. If you see the "eye for eye, teeth for teeth" thing, it is man-made justice. Justice will never ever be able to be accomplished in this world by mankind, because even since the beginning, we have not been made to be able to do that. God's justice will be found later, in His second coming, where He will be the Rightful Judge and there -and only there- will we be able to see the real justice of our God.

What can I do then? I will just walk on with my life and try to solve all of my problems, because it is part of the learning and molding process, and also part of living my life down here on Earth. Other than that, I will do my best to comfort and help all of those who are in need. Even though I can't be some sort of a "hero" or something, I will still do what I can do in my capacity as a mankind and as God's work of hand, because somehow I knew that if He placed me here, and He placed them all around me in my surroundings, then it will not be for nothing. Like a great chess player, when He put those pieces in their places, He must have His own thinking and strategy and nothing He plans will be useless or for nothing. That is not to say that we are merely "pawns" though, but if we use our freewill to surrender and follow His plans and let His thoughts be made manifest in us, then we will surely see the mighy plans and works of wonders that He has in His mind (well you wouldn't want your chess pieces to all go their own ways when you're playing, won't you?).

I will just set my mind on the things above and not things on the Earth.
I will walk by my faith and not by my eyes nor my sight.
I will do all things by trusting Him, in Him that will made me able and strengthens me.
No temptation has laid hold upon me, which is greater than my ability to face it.

...............I can do all things in Him that strengthens me!